Friday, April 1, 2011

Footloose and Fancy-free Friday 4/1

I feel myself sinking toward a low point in my emotional and mental states.  In some ways history is beginning to repeat itself.  The lows I went through then I don't want to re-experience.  But they're coming.  It's as though I'm standing on the top of a building, watching a tornado sweep toward me.  The building is swaying, ready to tip me over the railing, despite the white knuckle grip with which I embrace that pole.

I'm also feeling rather directionless in my writing.  I may look like the queen of multi-tasking, with so many projects that I talk about in my WiP Wednesday updates, but the truth is far from it.  I cling to these snippets of stories, but none grab me enough that I feel motivated to see them through to the end.  The truth is that many of these projects I'll lose interest in within a week or two.  Then I'll float along looking for the next idea to consume me.  That's what I'm looking for right now.

When I began Oracles Promise it was exciting to me.  I enjoyed creating the world, mythology, history, characters, all of it.  I enjoyed writing it, even though it took 8 years and shelving it two or three times to get that first draft to "The End."

When I struck on the idea for When the Star Fell it was the same way.  I couldn't get my ideas down fast enough.  I stuck through to "The End" and have revised it a handful of times.  I'm looking forward to revising it again.

I don't feel that way about anything in my writing any more.  Not that rush of first ideas, the characters popping through my head, showing me snippets of their story.

Yes, friends, I'm sinking rapidly to a low point and I am grabbing at anything to halt the movement.


  1. Stephanie, I think you're learning what I learned some years ago (as I'm older.) We all have a tendency to rely upon emotions that anchor us. However, along the way, with life being life, we also learn to think smarter. You've learned that it's not enthusiasm alone that carries the day. This can be a hard pill to swallow and make one want to regain what was. The solution, though, is an acceptance of what is. You are as you are now. Having said that, I never felt as though I was atop a swaying building. This bothers me. If your emotions continue as such, please talk to your doctor. You could have a thyroid problem, for example. Good luck and HUGS!

  2. Man, I know that feeling. One thing that's really helped me is to step back. Release myself from any expectations I have put on myself. And then, just do things when I want to or feel inspired. I find the love for things again that way.

  3. *HUGS*

    Well, if it helps you any, I think it's perfectly normal to get to this point. We can't be expected to be passionate and creative and spilling over with ideas 24/7. No way. I think your brain is just taking a rest. Soak it in. Enjoy another hobby for awhile, and things will fall back into place. If there's one thing I've learned in life, you can't force creativity. Call me if you ever need to talk!

  4. Freefall is a terrible, terrible feeling. Sounds like you need a vacation from writing. I've found that a break can be very rejuvenating.

    Good luck and I hope you enjoy the weekend

  5. Don't give up. We all go through those times. Last fall I got 2 bad critiques from editor/agents and really considered quitting. But then I got two positive ones from other agents/editors. Sometimes taking a reading break helps and not expecting all times of writing life to be super productive helps. I know mine is not very productive now with learning to blog, working full time, and getting my daughter to all her swim activities. In fact I'm accepting that I may not produce much over the next few years while I get her through her first 2 years of high school. But that's okay. You may have to focus on school/career more. But you can still write.

  6. Grab onto us, we'll help! I think more of us than you realize have experienced that sense of disillusionment in our writing. Just hang in there, Steph. You'll find that thing that sticks and be back in the game.


  7. I think this is totally normal, too. There were times in the past where I had to force myself to sit down and write, and the stuff that fell onto the page was total crap. Yet I kept writing. But you'll get through it. Just don't give up.

  8. (Hello, I'm Lana and I'm new to blogging. I found your blog through another blogger and have enjoyed reading through it! Feel free to check mine out. It's still just a baby though :) )

    Don't give up hun.
    I was going through the same thing recently. I had ideas and couldn't get them down on paper, no matter how hard I tried, and however many hours I devoted to the idea. It just wasn't meant to be. Life was feeling stressful and I couldn't make sense of anything in my head, let along putting ideas on paper. I then got a letter from a magazine I had submitted to MONTHS ago, saying that they were publishing my short story, and suddenly the joy and excitement of writing found me again.
    Take a break. Don't feel guilty for taking a writing break. Just ease your mind for a little bit.
    Maybe the problem is that you're not REALLY connected with the stories and characters you've been writing about?
    Good luck! *hugs*

  9. *hugs*

    If it helps, I'm feeling the same the passion is gone. However, I feel these things fluctuate naturally as life happens. If writing is really something that is meant to be for you, you will find the interest again. ;)


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