Friday, June 4, 2010

Am I dreaming?

It's blogfest day.  This one is hosted by Amalia, who has a pretty great blog that I only recently discovered. Today's is all about dream sequences.  I love using dreams to disrupt my character's status quo.  I think they're also really great at illustrating some of the MC's inner workings without falling into the "telling" trap.

That said, here's a brief dream sequence from my current project, Lodestar.


Derek opened his eyes to behold a wild, overgrown forest.  An ancient longbow rested in his right hand while a quiver of feather-fletched arrows hung across his back.  Birds called to each other in the trees and in the skies.  Rustling came from his left.  His head snapped in the direction while the bow came effortlessly upward.  With one single motion he’d drawn an arrow and nocked it, waiting.  The rustling moved closer and closer.  A fox, perhaps?  He waited, eyes fixated on the faint game trail leading into the clearing from the same direction the noises came.
A beautiful woman entered the clearing.  Dressed in red clothes that swirled around her in an enchanting way she stared straight at Derek.  She made him feel as though she could see right inside his head and read every thought that flitted through.
“Derek.” she said.  Her mouth never moved.  The voice sounded in his head.  He stared at her.  She seemed so familiar.  Then he saw it.  The flowing blonde hair he longed to run his hands through.
“Derek.”

Well, there you have it.  This is obviously still its first draft form and will likely change over the course of revisions.  (Please no critiques here.  That is not why I posted it.)

21 comments:

  1. my interest is piqued. a man and a beautiful woman. anything could happen. thanks for stopping by.

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  2. Job well done...I want to know what happens next.

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  3. Like most of my dreams, yours end just when you want it to go on. Good job, Roland

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  4. OH I like this! I want more, more, more!!! Well done! And not bad at all for a draft!

    I also like to do the dream blurbs, it really does show more of your chracter. Plus, personally in real life I am a dream nut! =D

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  5. I liked the birds and rustling. Gave it an almost real quality, but with a dream-like feel. Great post.

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  6. GMTA!!
    We both opened on a forest dream!
    For some reason, I was expecting him to shoot her...like they say, you can't have a loaded gun and not expect it to go off....
    ;)

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  7. Interesting. (My MC is named Derek also, so that makes me like it even more.)

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  8. Dream like but, perhaps, not a dream at all?
    Her ability to speak to him directly suggests she is more than human or a facet of his character come to show him what he really ought to know?! Dreamy!

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  9. Very nice bit of writing. You've got me intrigued..is it a dream? or perhaps more of a vision?

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  10. Interesting! I feel like you do a great job grounding us in the setting of the dream here :) Thanks for participating!

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  11. Lovely dream that ends too soon. :) I'd like to read more of this.

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  12. Oooh! I want to know why she's there, especially when Derek didn't expect her there! She seemed so familiar and he longed to touch her hair. Love romance. Thank you for sharing!

    Come by and read mine! ;)

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  13. Sara, I love dreams too. I always wish I could remember more of my dreams, if only for story fodder. Thanks for the feedback!

    Raquel, thanks! Setting descriptions are something I struggle with so it's nice to hear positive responses. Thank you for coming by!

    Tessa, it's definitely a dream, but with a bit of a twist. Thanks for stopping by!

    Sarah Jayne, Thanks! The feedback is very encouraging. Don't the best dreams always end too soon? (And nightmares go on too long.)

    Elizabeth, thanks! I'm on my way over right now. I appreciate the comments and positivity.

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  14. If that's the first draft, I can't wait for the next! Really great :)

    <3 Kelsey Leigh

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  15. PS...thank you for following my blog! ;)

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  16. Ooo I'm intrigued I want to know who she is, thanks for sharing!

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  17. I am also interested. From the first paragraph, you have my attention. I like using bows, and so the description of that and the movement that follows is great. Well done.

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  18. Love the sensory details - I could almost hear the rustling in the underbrush. Nice work!

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