Monday, January 6, 2014

Finding Where I Fit

Whenever I start thinking about my writing future, where my books I'm writing now might fit, I always circle back to one giant fear.

That I'll never find a fit for my books.

I've had two friends lose their publishers. One has jumped full steam ahead into self-publishing. Which is great. It fits her books well and she's happy there. (At least I view her as happy, despite the setbacks.) The other is still sorting out her best option.

I've seen people become very jaded very quickly with the traditional publishing process. I've seen them start to diversify their list, some traditional and some self-published work.

I see some friends set a backbreaking pace for themselves in self-publishing.

I see so many paths, none of which feel right for me, for my books, for my personality.

I'm not a fast writer by any stretch of the imagination. I simply don't have the hours to devote to writing any faster than I do when I'm at my most productive pace. (My most productive pace being 1K-2k per day. On bad days I write 500 words. On extremely good, and rare, days I can write 2K-3K.)

I need to stop trying to fit into the molds others have made for themselves. I know this, but it doesn't stop me trying. And worrying.

But I know I don't fit anywhere right now. I've never fit in, my whole life. I'll probably always be the girl no one knows what to do with.

1 comment:

  1. I've never fit anywhere, either, if that makes you feel any better. Probably not. One thing I've found is that almost everyone feels like they are in their own unique boat, even if it seems on the outside that they are "fitting" perfectly somewhere. That's the key, I think. Don't ever feel like you have to FIT anywhere. Just do your own thing and work with what you've got.

    If you don't think self-publishing is right for you, are you sure? You might want to try it with something small. The reason I love it so much is because there are as many different ways to self-publish as there are stars in the sky. Nobody's doing it the way I'm doing it, that I've seen, and I like that. I like that I built it my own way and it's my own thing.

    But the same can be said about traditional publishing -- that you can do it so many different ways -- which I may or may not chase after someday. The small publisher route, who knows. I've tried and flopped on it once now. Not my own fault, but still.

    I've never fit into specific groups, even if others might think I belong to one. It was like that in high school and it's like that now. My fiction? Yeah, it's a total spin of its own, one I'm not sure will ever fit into the mainstream market. One of the people I admire most is Natalie because she wholeheartedly embraces all her unique eccentricities and turns them into huge strengths. It's something I've admired for a long time, and something I'm slowly learning to do for myself, as well. I hope you can too. :) *HUGS*


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