Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Why I Stopped Following or Commenting

*Note: The following does not apply to any one specific person/blog/Twitter account.  Just a general rant over accumulated experience.  If you don't want to read, that's your call.  I won't be offended because I'll likely never know whether you even came.

"Why did you stop following my blog/Twitter/Facebook/whatever piece of social networking?"

It's not a question I've been asked, because, frankly, I'm not cool enough or popular enough to matter to any one person.

But I'm going to answer it anyways.

1- Uninteresting.  I'm not interested in reading months and months of posts to catch up on the fictional adventures of a character you cut from your WiP.  [Exaggerated a bit perhaps, but that's also so no one can think to themselves, "Was that me?"]

2- Your blog/Twitter/whatever became high school all over again.  Cliques are so last century.  Really.  I'm on social networking sites to make friends and connections, not be told what a loser I am because you got your hands on an exclusive ARC or your crit buddy just got a deal and you've read the book and HOLY SMOKES you should be so jealous because I read it and you have to wait a year.  Neener neener.

Not. Cool.

3- You make me feel like I'm talking into the void or like I'm five years old.

4- I've seen you be impolite to people who could be influencers in your career or the career of those you know, simply because they came into the conversation a few tweets/posts/whatevers too late.

5- You got overly political which began to rub me like you're trying to say, "It's my way or the highway and this person is so so so wrong and you should be ashamed of yourself for listening to/believing/voting for them."

Rant over.


  1. I LOVE THIS POST. Thank you! #2 is right on. I HATE that. I know writers are probably just proud to have certain privileges but I don't need it thrown into my face! I've un-followed a few who are like that. I can tolerate SOME of it but when it's a daily thing, it annoys me. I don't need to sit at the cool kids table!

  2. No worries. :)

    And I hear you on the clique thing. I'm trying to branch out a little, and it's frustrating to comment to people and feel invisible. Over and over and over again.

  3. Here, here!

    I've been blogging for over a year and it's been a sloowww process gaining followers and branching out. Reminds me of how unpopular I was in high school, LOL! AND it leads to worries about the future...ex, if/when I publish, will I meet the same roadblocks??? IDK.

    Hopefully not, LOL!

    Thanks for posting this. ;)

  4. Haha, love this! So true. High school. Yep. Ugh!

  5. Great post! The social networking road is slippery. ;)

  6. Ugh the clique thing gets old fast. Especially on twitter. And the hoop jumping to comment first, tweet faster, etc. to feel apart of everything is such a time suck. I just remind myself it's necessary to put the time toward writing sometimes instead of networking.

  7. I LOVE this post! I feel exactly the same way. I want to make new writer friends, not be ignored and made to feel left out of the "cool" kids crowd.

  8. Those are important things for all of us to remember. I so know what you are talking about.

  9. ((hugs)) I hope you find plenty of happy places to be online to make up for the ugly ones!

  10. Lisa, I agree that I can handle it in tiny little doses. (Such as if they're helping an author promote their book just prior to and just after publication, or if I follow both authors on Twitter and they have a convo about it.) Thank you for the comment!

    Dani, I'm trying to branch out, too. It does get disheartening when you feel like you're just talking into the void. But there are blogs and people out there who do a great job of making every follower and commenter feel welcome. We just need to hang on to those tightly. Thanks for commenting!

    Laura, I agree with how slow the process of building up an audience can be. It's painful and can have great benefits in the future. I don't know what roadblocks might exist down the road, but we'll figure out ways of overcoming them when we cross those bridges. Thanks for commenting!

    Michelle, LOL. Thanks for stopping by!

    Kittie, I am sorry you've experienced this sort of thing, too. It's no fun at all. Thanks for commenting!

    Amanda, it is indeed. And thank you for commenting!

    SM, I've never noticed any sort of race to comment first. (Not on blogs, anyways.) It seems a little silly. A comment is a comment, no matter if it's first or 150th. And I agree about priorities and where they ought to be, especially for unpublished authors like myself. Thanks for commenting!

    Melissa, I'm sorry you've felt this way, too. It can get depressing. I know for me it starts to weigh on me and drag down my writing mojo and I lose interest in writing. Thanks for commenting!

    Angie, myself included in those reminders. Thanks for commenting!

    Ali, *hugs* back. There are plenty of places where the vibes are happy and inclusive. Including a favorite hangout of a cute little ninja with pink sash. Thanks for commenting!

    To everyone, thank you for the kind comments today. I wasn't sure I'd end up letting this post go up. But in the end I did. I'm grateful that it's been given a good reception and that I haven't been flamed out of the internet for life because of it.

    I'm appreciative that you've taken the time to stop by and listen to me. I promise to be better at avoiding these things I've ranted against and to always try to foster a welcoming environment here on the blog.

  11. I heard you on the clique thing (I'm still in high school and sadly still have to deal with that). However, you think that writers would know better not to do make other writers feel like losers.

    Danyelle, I have experience what you're going through first hand so you're in good company. :)

    Thanks for this post, it's been something that has been bugging me for sometime now.

  12. I completely agree. While I don't normally stop following those blogs or unfriend them on Facebook, I don't love them and don't check them as often.

    Know what I dislike? "OMG, my friend just got such good news. But I can't say ANYTHING." Umm... how about you don't even post that?

  13. All good reasons to say good bye and fare thee well but do it without me.

  14. Interesting post. I agree with all these reasons to quit following. If I haven't read a blog for a long time or the posts are way too long all the time are other reasons I'll stop reading unless they are super helpful.

  15. Hmmm... interesting thoughts. I usually follow someone until they stop posting. I guess I try and comment as often as I can wherever I can, bu tI can see your points :)

  16. I just lost a follower on my blog today, was it you? LOL, just kidding, I'm not even sure if you follow my blog or not, but yes I'll admit I've unfollowed a few myself. Usually for that first reason you list. That's my #1 reason to opt out.

  17. Melody, I promise it gets better after high school. Sure there'll still be groups, but you'll find your own and never look back. Thanks for coming by!

    Theresa, I hadn't thought about that one. I do sometimes just skim around the blogs rather than un-follow. Thanks for coming by!

    Susan, thanks.

    Natalie, if they haven't posted in a while, I forget they're even there. I read blogs via Google Reader so I only get the update when there's a new post. Thanks for coming by!

    Tabitha, I try to do the same, but sometimes I just stop feeling like it's worth it and focus elsewhere. Thanks for commenting!

  18. Karen, LOL. If a blog doesn't hold my interest that is the primary reason I'll stop following. Thanks for coming by!

  19. Very interesting. I had to make sure I wasn't doing any of these things. LOL (typical insecure writer?) Thanks for the thoughts! A nice--and honest--post.


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